Tag teaming twins – only way mommy and daddy can win

Winning, I mean Twinning at night- Ta Tag Team back again!

Yes I fell asleep after an exhausting 12 hour shift Sunday night and came home to doze off at 1130pm… only to be awakened by my Heavenly Choir of Angels (aka Scarlett and Violet) and the cacophony of their little cries. Not so cute when they hit high notes that prevent you from sleeping .. “ah wahh ah wahhhhh, ah wah “…and Big Sister Lily is in the choir too – on back up – – with the not so soft sound of rhythmic snoring…

It’s 4:15am…Dana has pumped enough for overnight feedings. We work together as a team. In the middle of the night we are like that 90s group “Tag Team”

Twin Tag Team awake again
Grab those two baby bottles and let’s begin
Stop crying little babies daddy’s bundles of joy
Two bottles in the room, mom pump pumped rejoice!
Dad got a twin over here, Mom has one over there
Feed ‘em til they poop then wipe their derrières
These three words when you’re gettin no sleep – “I need caffeine”

I… need caffeine
I… need caffeine

Yes, our babies are keeping us awake around the clock. It’s like they are hazing us…. and I can’t understand why. Lily hazed and initiated us into parenthood 3 years ago! Isn’t there a double jeopardy rule that applies – a parent can only be initiated once?? (And the term “double” jeopardy is so apropos!)

It then hits me when I look at my 5 week old twins, these are new tenants in my house that I don’t quite know. I think to myself – “I dont know you babies. Who are you? You have been houseguests for the past 5 weeks. You make a diaper mess (making daddy want to say “Whoomp there it is!). You get more packages in the mail than I do (most of the time I paid for it). I wrap you up like baby burritos in your sleep sacks as I listen to your flatulence, which sounds like someone with no musical talent trying to play the trumpet”.

Luckily, Im slowly getting acquainted with these new babes, but they need to let their 37 year old daddy get some shut eye!

Again to compare and contrast, 9 years ago as an Intern, I used to sleep in a cold, small call room – stretching out over an old hospital bed with thin white sheets and no linens bulky enough to keep me warm. Usually I was awakened by the loud sound of my pager going off for an admission in the ER. Or maybe a Code Blue situation. For emergencies I would spring onto my feet, throw on my lab coat and tend to the situation. But at age 27, I was able to function on very little sleep and still maintaining my cognitive skills.

Now, as a Daddy Doctor, I don’t have a pager going off- instead it’s the sound of our little ladies. Nowadays, I’m slower at getting out of bed to go to their Pack N’ Plays. Diaper changes…yeah… I get pooped or peed on since I’m not functioning well in the middle of the night. To think I’ll be 37 on Wednesday. Big difference from 9-10 years ago.

So hey parents out there! If you have newborns and are in this same boat, and you can’t get back to sleep like I can’t, try to find some humor to get you through. Caring for a newborn is “one” thing (when’s there’s only “one” of them), but Twins ups the ante. And boy did we up the ante – I have three of a kind, with a Queen of hearts ( aka mommy) and a Jester (who would be me)!

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Categories: Daddy Doctor Diary, General Inspiration, Random Thoughts

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